When the tables turn

Life has a way of messing with you in some of the strangest and unforeseen ways. Sometimes it’s for good and other times not so much; while in some circumstances it’s a mix of both.

This week I applied for a mental health technician job at a local behavioral center for kids/teens. Tuesday I had to go in and take a prescreening questionnaire that consisted of what I would do in situations, etc. I got a call today from the center and was told everything checked out and I have an interview Friday. In the midst of all this happening a revelation came to me about how the tables have turned in my life.

<Warning> Graphic description ahead

My senior of high school back in 2002, I attempted to take my life by means of hanging myself in my closet. It was more of a flirting with suicide scenario that went wrong but right in the same breath. All I meant to do what let myself dangle, choke a couple times and then let myself loose. Unfortunately, as soon as I swallowed I blacked out. The belt used was positioned just right that as soon as I hung, I lost consciousness. Only by a miracle my parents heard a noise from my room, came in to check on me, only to find me hanging there blacked out. I was cut lose and awoke to my Dad shaking me as he was desperately pleading for me to come out of the blackness. It was a scary scene. The cops were called, I was Jerry Acted (basically I had the choice to cooperate to go with them or I would be forced to ride along. This is done when the authorities believe I am a danger to myself or someone else), taken to a rehab center and I spent 3 days and 3 nights in the facility.

All that to say this, I was the kid getting treatment at one point in my life. I remember the mental health tech from that center. Now I have the opportunity to be on the other side of the table. I never knew that would be possible. Many people like myself go to college and study counseling/psychology to be able to help kids like I was back in that time who are struggling with similar depression and suicidal thoughts/actions. But I have an advantage. I was that kid and now I can relate to many kids suffering from depression and mental health problems. Being able to connect in that way is humbling.

Whether or not I get to have the technician job, I am grateful for where I am going and the possibilities¬†that are in front of me. I am living example of how God can use a bad thing and turn it around for the good. Maybe you are going through a storm, struggle or hurt and you don’t know why. I didn’t know why I had to go through such severe depression that I would go as far to kill myself, but I survived and I am making a point to use it for the good/God’s glory. I want to make a difference in people’s lives.

Experience is one the best teachers. My youth pastor’s wife, Becky once told me that the best ministers are the ones who have worn the t-shirt. In other words you can make a difference in people’s lives from the pains you have endured. While you may not understand why you are going through what you are going through, remember that you can make a difference in someone’s life from that¬†experience.

Be strong and courageous! 

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