Being a stay at home Dad

This is one of the days I was not expecting to come so quickly, but I knew it was going to happen sooner than later. The day I am referring to is the last day I am no longer going to be a stay at home Dad. Not many guys have the privilege to hold that title and I am beyond blessed and fortunate to own the title of being one. However, all good things must come to an end. The time has come to go back to work full time as my wife and I switch roles. It’s a bitter sweet day for me.

Two years ago I had to leave my job (the same one I am going back to) and by doing so I went back to school while taking care of my two year old girl. Six months later my little boy came along and I was taking care of two small kids. I began my journey as a full time student and full time Dad. Now I am in my final semester of classes and going back to work full time. Due to some recent changes in my wife’s work situation it is going to be best for our family to make these changes.

It wasn’t till I laid my little girl to bed last night that it really hit me that today is going to be the last day taking care of my kids. No shame, I went to bed in tears. My little girl has been my little buddy for two years and my little boy has been my under my wing as well.

Being a stay at home Dad has been challenging, fun, stressful, an honor and privilege. There are so many characteristics that come with the package. There are many moments that I regret in the sense could I have done things better? There are moments that I would not trade for the world. These moments regardless of if I thought they were good or bad ones, are moments I will treasure for a lifetime.

Raising a kid is no joke. It is one of the highest most important roles anyone can ever take on. The responsibility is great. It’s greater than any position in the world. At heart I am motivated to be a culture shifter and changer. I want the best for the world, my country, and my town. How does culture change for the good? The answer is within the home. The home is where values, morals, ethics, faith, trust, respect, and love are developed. As goes the family, goes the church and so goes the community. If you want a better world start creating healthy families.

That is the burden I rest on my shoulders with my family. I want my kids to grow up being contributors to society, never have a self entitled outlook on life, be giving, generous, loving to others and lead a generation in the right direction. I want them to bring Heaven to earth and make difference in other’s lives.

The beginning years of a child’s life is very critical. They are a sponge soaking up every little bit of info they are presented with. They mimic and repeat what they learn. Whether they learn the alphabet or how to react to being upset. They learn from the parents and environment they are part of. Kids are dependent on not only nutrition but how they are taught to deal with their emotions. As I’ve alluded to, being a parent is no task to take lightly.

I’ve had a lot of help with my parenting skills. I have an amazing wife who adores our kids and practically raised her siblings growing up. She has shown me a lot. My college degree is in Crisis Counseling Psychology and covers development of children and counseling tips about dealing with kids. Other trustworthy helps have been listening to Focus on the Family radio, Bethel Church representatives, and fellow parents. My advice as a parent is learn how to be resourceful.

My kids are the world to me. There are many things I wish I could go back and redo as a parent, but those regrets are learning tools. Being a stay at home Dad has been a mirror to me that causes me to reflect on my character. My tempter, patience, forgiveness, endurance, love, and so much more is tested every single day. I have the choice to react to every emotion and my kids learn how I handle life. They learn how I treat their mother. I set the standard of how a wife and mother are to be treated. I set the standard of how to deal with other people. I want to be the best influence I can possibly be to my kids. Am I perfect at this? Heck no! I fail everyday. But there are victories to celebrate.

Writing this blog post would not even be possible without being a stay at home Dad. Bane Tech alone was birthed out of being a stay at home Dad. This position brought out of me something I never thought I could do or even bring to the table. I never knew I could be a YouTuber, manage a website or have the chance to develop technical skills. Most of all I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting new people including press representatives and fans alike. Bane Tech has become a part of my life and again would not have been made possible without the opportunity of being a stay at home Dad.

What’s this mean now and how does life look like moving forward? Schedule is about the main difference. Typically, while the kids take their naps is when Bane Tech stuff was done. The rest of the day time hours consisted of taking care the kids and the house along with different things here and there. Now, I will be working during the day. Evening hours will be dedicated to family time, school and Bane Tech. The weekends will consist of what my evenings and nights look like. Managing my time is going to take a new shift on how I complete tasks and keep my priorities straight. I’m involved with my church as their website and social media manager, a Life Group leader and other various activities. There is a lot on my plate, but I am thankful for all the areas God has given me to take care of.

This new chapter in my life has me nervous, anxious and excited to see where it is leading. I am in my last semester of school, working on my internship with a fatherhood program and am curious of where the degree is going to take me. Most of all I am going to miss seeing my kids throughout the day. This might be the hardest transition I am going to face. My kids are my pride and joy. With that said, I am also happy my wife gets to experience the honor of raising kids as she will now be a stay at home Mom. She will probably do a much a better job raising the kids than I did anyways. If anything I did right it was teaching my kids how to appreciate the comics and super heroes!

Let me leave you with this final thought. Being a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it takes work. Your kids learn from you. Let them teach you as much as you teach them. If you have a passion to make a difference in this world or if you think this world needs fixing, start with your own family. That is where the change begins. For Christians, we like to hold on to the passage of scripture about the importance of raising a child in the Lord’s ways so they will not depart from it when they get older. Why do you think God put emphasis on that passage? I think it is safe to say that God knows the world depends on how a child is raised.

Special Thanks:

My wife has been such a huge support as I have been a stay at home Dad and full time student. She is probably one of the hardest working women I know. She tries her best and doesn’t look for recognition. Without her love and support I could not have done all of what I have been able to accomplish. 

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